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But I’ve long known that there is no such thing as a perfect partner. Along the way, I’ve dated white guys who wanted to learn about blackness; white guys who pretended my blackness didn’t exist; a Jewish guy who was well-meaning but politically infuriating; and a Honduran man who promptly ditched me for my best friend.

None of them have been the right fit for me, but that wasn’t because they weren’t black.

Meanwhile, throughout high school and college, the few black men I knew found my blackness as subpar to theirs.

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Even when I have expressed romantic interest in black guys, it has always been a futile effort.This wasn’t simply because I’ve always believed in inclusivity, but also because I grew up surrounded by white people.If I waited for a black guy who liked me to apparate out of thin air, I would have waited a decade.As time passed, I realized that being black didn’t mean I had to look or act a certain way.I could love my skin and also love Britney Spears and country music.The Muricay Beach is located further away, at 4 kilometers, but the white sands and clear seas more than make up for the distance.


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