People who have a first-degree relative with BPD are five times more likely to develop BPD themselves.
Research has shown brain changes in the ability to regulate emotions. Unlike narcissists, who often avoid therapy, borderlines usually welcome it; however, before recent treatment innovations, its effectiveness had been questioned.
Long-term treatment is required for maximum results, with symptom relief increasingly improving.
A 10-year study showed substantial remission after 10 years.
Following a passionate beginning, expect a stormy relationship that includes accusations and anger, jealousy, bullying, control, and breakups due to the insecurity of the person with BPD. They fluctuate dramatically between idealizing and devaluing you and may suddenly and sporadically shift throughout the day. Their intense, labile emotions elevate you when they’re in good spirits and crush you when they’re not. If you’re on the outs with them, all their bad feelings get projected onto you.
They can be vindictive and punish you with words, silence, or other manipulations, which can be very destructive to your self-esteem.
Borderlines need structure, and a combination of knowing that they’re cared about and firm boundaries communicated calmly. Studies have shown that some people recover on their own, some improve with weekly therapy, and some require hospitalization.
The person with BPD may appear to be the underdog in the relationship, while his or her partner is the steady, needless and caretaking top dog. A codependent who also yearns for love and fears abandonment can become the perfect caretaker for someone with BPD (whom they sense won’t leave).
In fact, both are codependent and it’s hard for either of them to leave. The codependent is easily seduced and carried away by romance and the person with BPD’s extreme openness and vulnerability.
Generally, borderlines are codependent, and find another codependent to merge with and to help them.
They seek someone to provide stability and balance their changeable emotions.