But when it came time to make a commitment, I would stop, listen, and breathe. I knew that if I couldn’t stride over this line with confidence, this wasn’t the relationship for me.After many misadventures in love, I have learned that rushing toward a relationship the moment my heart is pulled isn’t the best route for long-term romance—look how long it took Elizabeth and Darcy!I believe in God's proper timing, and I'm sure this is all a part of His Divine Plan for me.Since middle school, it always seemed like having a boyfriend was the most important thing a girl could have, even more important than being well-educated and respectful.
Sure I look around and I see broken, insecure, and self loathing people in a relationship or even married and I wonder why them and not me?
I never wanted anyone to know my secret, I thought I was a pretty good actress. There are all these articles and blogs about how the young, modern woman is flourishing, dating, and having lots of casual sex. I know this sounds like a super dorky sob story but quite the contrary.
I guess I'm Beyoncé in The Fighting Temptations movie. When I do talk to my friends about guys it's never concrete and almost juvenile. In my twenties I've experienced a lot of life, it came faster than I expected.
I was walking down a chilly London street with a British guy I had known for a while, waiting for that fateful moment in which he would ask me to be his girlfriend, we would kiss, and our happily ever after would begin. He did ask me to “go out,” but what the bloody hell does that look like when you live six thousand miles apart?
look like motivated me in the pursuit, but in the end it always came down to the fact that I didn't really want to be in a relationship—despite how romantically ideal it seemed. I wanted so badly to create a story that would last a lifetime, but in the end I realized that “forever” with him and six thousand miles was too daunting a prospect for me.